PUNCHING CHILDREN
In my search for meaningful employment I have been attempting to gain some interest (and funding) for my plan to tour primary schools in the home counties enlightening children to the delights of smoking. So far I have bought a flip-chart, some permanent markers and one thousand pounds worth of duty-free fags from a Kosovan on the corner of the Old Kent Road to hand out to the kids as an added incentive. Unfortunately the schools themselves have proved very slow in responding to the fact-sheet I sent out. What does a guy have to do in this country to get a break?