CARLISLE.
Dear Sir/Madam,
Domestic violence is abhorrant and revolting. Regrettably I speak from personal experience on the subject. My first husband Roy used to give me a regular shoeing. This sad state of affairs only came to a halt when I hired a Kosovan hit-man called Rueben to have him shot. Luckily he did a first rate job and was very competitively priced. On a different note - have any readers ever been to Carlisle?
Maureen Knottage,
Runcorn
Dear Ms Knottage,
Alas, I have never visited Carlisle. I did, however, duet with Elton John on the smash hit sinlge Don't go breaking my heart in 1976.
Yours,
Kiki Dee
London (probably)
Dear Sir/Madam,
Domestic violence is abhorrant and revolting. Regrettably I speak from personal experience on the subject. My first husband Roy used to give me a regular shoeing. This sad state of affairs only came to a halt when I hired a Kosovan hit-man called Rueben to have him shot. Luckily he did a first rate job and was very competitively priced. On a different note - have any readers ever been to Carlisle?
Maureen Knottage,
Runcorn
Dear Ms Knottage,
Alas, I have never visited Carlisle. I did, however, duet with Elton John on the smash hit sinlge Don't go breaking my heart in 1976.
Yours,
Kiki Dee
London (probably)
posted by Mr McGuinness at 3:57 pm
2 Comments:
Dear Mr. McGuiness
While I understand your frustration with my previous comments, RE: Keira's hammock habits, Ms. Knightley is currently unavailable for the signing of legal documents as she has caught an inner ear infection from doing a full frontal scene in the remake of "Merry Christmas Mister Lawrence" on which she is currently working. As soon as she is available I will contact you to arrange a date and time.
Yours sincerely,
NiolK
P.S.- Cameron Diaz may have play for Bristol City. But not from 1998-2003 as she played defence for Bolton Wanderers while the team was under the management of Bernie Taupin.(Immortalised by her ad campaign for Orthopaedic football boots "The CamerUn-ners".)
Dear Mr. McGuiness
Thank you for your update on the C. Diaz soccer situation and I'm sorry if my addition of Cameron related factage caused you any undue stress. I look forward to your future correspondance and the releasr of your Big Bad Factastic Book. I have posted a link to your blog on my own in the hope that it will make your claims more beleivable to the hollywood scum as they read mine on a daily basis.
All the best,
NiolK
P.S.- Bruce Dern tried to become a practising Physiotherapist in Ireland in the Mid-Eighties but was kicked out by the Irish Society of Chartered Physiotherapists for performing accupuncture(frowned upon in Physio circles to this day). FACT.
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