ACTORS 'N' THAT.
Until recently I was scratching a living as an actor (last year I was in EastEnders, really I was. I played a mate of Alfie's who dresses up as a policeman to arrest Alfie's mam - it was hilarious!) and I'm still on nodding terms with many professional thespians. Most of them are highly talented and eminently castable. Their common problem seems to be the lack of opportunity to biuld a career. This usually leads to a rapid descent into the black world of bitterness and depression, followed by alcohol or drug dependency and a life of watching daytime TV and climaxing ina miserable, lonely and tragically early death in a bedsit somewhere in east London. To my untrained eye of avoidance of this pitiful fate in straightforward. The choices are many and varied:
1) Become a reality TV 'star' who, as the 14th minute of fame decides, "What I really want to do is act"
2) Become a professional footballer who, as his knees start to give decides "What I really want to do is act"
3) Become a stand-up comedian who, as his act starts to go stale decides "What I really want to do is act"
4) Become a topless model who, as the threep'ees start to descend decides "What I really want to do is act"
5) Become a pixillated cartoon of yourself.
6) Whore yourself by going to every advert casting for some crap product you would never use for ethical reasons.
7) Get a proper job.