LIFE IS A ROLLER-COASTER.
There is nothing I like to do more in my spare time than maiming minor celebrities. So far I have shot Ronan Keating, head-butted Dame Kiri Te Kanawa and stabbed Sir Trevor McDonald in the neck with a pencil. Do any other bloggers have unusual hobbies?
There is nothing I like to do more in my spare time than maiming minor celebrities. So far I have shot Ronan Keating, head-butted Dame Kiri Te Kanawa and stabbed Sir Trevor McDonald in the neck with a pencil. Do any other bloggers have unusual hobbies?
posted by Mr McGuinness at 4:01 pm
31 Comments:
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In my spare time I like to pursue that most fascinating of past-times, Coursework/Revision/Latin Set Text Translation Avoidance. What is this, I hear you cry. Why, it involves performing lots of activities that one would otherwise avoid, such as CD collection alphabetisation, shoe polishing, sock drawer tidying, paint drying exibitions, and so on.
If you have any suggestions for other activities that could be included, please post them on my blog.
Please. I'm running out of things to do.
i too kill celebrities. i once beat drew barrymore to death with a boot ... http://imthebeesknees.blogspot.com/2005_05_22_imthebeesknees_archive.html
I enjoy fisting. Its such a fascinating field. Often, I will pop down to the old peoples home, complete with my ski mask and fist away. One of the old dears likes it so much she now has a wizards sleeve.
I enjoy taking lying bloggers to task on their false and misleading information. You may have shot Ronan Keating, but you have failed to kill him. This puffed-up deceptive statement got me all excited, until my SpideySense took over, and I followed up on your delerious claim. Ronan Keating lives. Disappoint me again, and I'll be forced to ram a ram up your nearest available orifice.
Blimey, the swearing lady is scary!!
I like to hide in a bush at the park, and when girls walk past I start shaking the bush violently whilst making loud grunting noises.
Tennis.
Tennis? That is obscene.
Mrs SID and I driving through town with the earthangels bound and gagged in the back seat.
We get interesting looks at the traffic lights.
I've just bought the Saved By The Bell: Best of, boxset. So I'm sorted for the next week or so.
I don't have any interesting hobbies. I'm just a lonely sad billy no mates, who sits in internet cafes because I haven't even got a home computer! ;-)
By shooting Ronan Keating you have done everyone a favour.
Thanks for dropping by my blog.
Fuck. I feel inadequate. All that Little Miss Ordinary over here does is flick her bean whilst listening to Barry Manilow.
Has anyone seen my pencil?
Losing pencils? What kind of a stupid hobby is that?
Anyway, Mr. McGuinness, claiming to have shot Keating in the groin just proves your lying...ness, as he doesn't have one. Yes. You read that right. He doesn't even have a groin, let alone something to hide in it.
I've always enjoyed playing the tuba. Unfortunately, a childhood mishap, involving an arc welder, has left me with no mouth. I'll leave the mechanics of my hobby to your imagination.
i like slitting throats. so far, mariah carey and whitney houston have been done but there's still that britney person driving around.
the Twat and also take great delight in annoying my son to the point of desperation. my son said he HATED me the other day.
such insults.
Do you do requests?
Fukkit -
I certainly do do requests. Please feel free to leave any suggestions of celebrities and I will consider injuring them in any way possible
Of a weekend, you will usually find me down on the beach training seagulls to nick items of value from other sun-seekers.
When not doing that I enjoy knitting and snorting cocaine off the cat.
There are a couple of children here that appear to want raising. Good God! They appear to be mine. Wait. Right, i remember now - I've been a hobbyist mother for 4 years or so.
Like the ranting dullard, I too enjoy fisting.
At university, I set up my own fisting society...
...I wanted to widen my circle of friends...
BOOM! BOOM!
I like to play Cliff Richard's Christmas album put on one of those train driver hats, like that fuckhead from Ocean Colour Scene, and video tape myself masturbating. I then send it to older celebrities such as Angela Lansbury, Bea Arthur and Kirk Douglas.
Oh and before I send the video tape I label it "Pot Noodle Advertisement"
My strange hobby is mixing food. Thismorning I made Poridge with custard powder and drinking chocolate! Try it before you say YUK!
I request you murder Gary Lineker because my walkers crisps keep going missing!
And dont forget the Oats...of course!
I like to walk around busy city centres staring at a spot in the sky intently. Everyone looks. Sometimes I scream and dive to the floor. I do this involuntarily anyway, ever since a bird shat on my head and it's poo gave me leprosy.
AAhhhh leprosy, i hope that doesn't mutate into a computer virus, then we would all be screwed!
Mr McGuinness:, i like ur taste in alcohol!
I like to have cyber-sex.
My ID is...
Mr McGuiness, for the love of God please do everything in your power to injure Noel Edmonds. The bearded twat is driving me garrity!
sometimes I like to karate chop the head of Star Jones and drop kick Mariah Carey in her swimsuit area.
Voltan applauds you smiting of these overpaid wastrels. There shall be a place for people like you in Voltan's new world order.
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