HOLLYWOOD HERE I COME.
I've spent the majority of the weekend feverously working on my screenplay. I probably shouldn't go into too many details as I know bloggers have the reputation of being thieving scum but, on this occasion, I'm prepared to trust you. Please be warned that if anyone does steal any of the ideas I will be forced to take legal action.
The premis centres around an asexual orthodontist called Martin Banana who must travel through time in search of a cure for his sister's halitosis. His efforts are constantly stymied by his arch nemesis and rival orthodontist Dr Lucian Ankle. They studied together and were great friends until they had a fierce argument about the relative values of Aran knitwear and have been sworn enemies ever since. Martin Banana is a maverick who doesn't play by the rules. For example, in one scene he refuses to examine the teeth of an old age pensioner until she can prove her claim that she is eligable for free treatment under the NHS. The finale will be a high speed milk float chase through the streets of Cockfosters with Martin Banana (who has had his legs amputated in an earlier scene) having to drive the milk float, fire bullets at Dr Ankle and keep the halitosis serum from dropping below room temperature.
I've just finished the first draft and I'm confident that, after a bit of polishing, I could have a potential Oscar winner on my hands. It would certainly be a big disappointment if it wasn't nominated.
P.S - I've yet to come up with an appropriate title so all suggestions are welcome. I did consider 'The Time-travelling Adventures of Martin Banana and his battle with arch nemisis Dr Lucian Ankle (an orthodontist)' but I'm not convinced it's quite snappy enough for the american market. Any thoughts?
I've spent the majority of the weekend feverously working on my screenplay. I probably shouldn't go into too many details as I know bloggers have the reputation of being thieving scum but, on this occasion, I'm prepared to trust you. Please be warned that if anyone does steal any of the ideas I will be forced to take legal action.
The premis centres around an asexual orthodontist called Martin Banana who must travel through time in search of a cure for his sister's halitosis. His efforts are constantly stymied by his arch nemesis and rival orthodontist Dr Lucian Ankle. They studied together and were great friends until they had a fierce argument about the relative values of Aran knitwear and have been sworn enemies ever since. Martin Banana is a maverick who doesn't play by the rules. For example, in one scene he refuses to examine the teeth of an old age pensioner until she can prove her claim that she is eligable for free treatment under the NHS. The finale will be a high speed milk float chase through the streets of Cockfosters with Martin Banana (who has had his legs amputated in an earlier scene) having to drive the milk float, fire bullets at Dr Ankle and keep the halitosis serum from dropping below room temperature.
I've just finished the first draft and I'm confident that, after a bit of polishing, I could have a potential Oscar winner on my hands. It would certainly be a big disappointment if it wasn't nominated.
P.S - I've yet to come up with an appropriate title so all suggestions are welcome. I did consider 'The Time-travelling Adventures of Martin Banana and his battle with arch nemisis Dr Lucian Ankle (an orthodontist)' but I'm not convinced it's quite snappy enough for the american market. Any thoughts?
posted by Mr McGuinness at 10:38 am
20 Comments:
How about 'Banana versus Ankle: A Time Travelling Catastrophe Through The Realms Of Halitosia' ?
Hi, just dropping by from SIDs's place. Liked your suggestion for getting rid of his troublesome colleague :-)
I'll be back!
No I like the title. It has a certain elegance.
You truly are a genius!
I'd buy that for a dollar!
Thank you all for your kind suggestions. All try and keep you informed of any developements (if the bloody press don't get there first)
But surely the asexual thing rules out any large breasted Love Interest which is obligatory in any major blockbuster?
You have to have a love interest or a spastic, tis The Rules.
"I'm an Orthodontist, Get Me Back in Time."
Use it and I won't tell Graham and Arthur you nicked their milkfloat bit.
Fuckkit - go and see The Ringer. Worst film ever, but it's got a Spastic Love Interest.
I hear George Clooney is already working on something similar.
Is your Kosovan hitman busy 23rd May,say 2.30ish pm?
He is the one with the big head and smallish eyes.
Title for Film? Time Dentist.
Liking your blog.
Will you have my babies?
I think:
"Alien fistfuck fury" would be a good title
Im lost...
A spastic love interest? Surely it will sweep the boards at the Oscars despite being what looks like the worst excuse for a comedy ever to fall out of Johnny Knoxville's arse.
If you are aiming it at an American audience, you'd better either make it sound like a sequel or have the word "WAR!" in the title.
What about "Ankle and Banana : Orthodontists At War 3: Bad Breath"
or something?
no?
oh.
MOO: How did you get lost? Lost in the Posts? if so, Were you sucked into your computer and then into cyber space?
Mr McGuinness: Dont forget about stunts, you could try to master the famous falling down stairs stunt, or just before time travelling flying off the stage over the crowd!
I meant as in lost and confused by the posting, but have since read it again and understand!
Banana Drama?
You know, if you get rich I'm going to have to marry you.
Its so good I want to smell some stale wee.
Yes the script sounds terribly nice and all that but the real question is who is this Oscar winner you have on your hands? where exactly are your hands? will you ever wash your hands again?
I lost the use of my hands in an unfortunate incident with some knitting needles in 1982. I wont bore you with the details.
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