ACTORS 'N' THAT.
Until recently I was scratching a living as an actor (last year I was in EastEnders, really I was. I played a mate of Alfie's who dresses up as a policeman to arrest Alfie's mam - it was hilarious!) and I'm still on nodding terms with many professional thespians. Most of them are highly talented and eminently castable. Their common problem seems to be the lack of opportunity to biuld a career. This usually leads to a rapid descent into the black world of bitterness and depression, followed by alcohol or drug dependency and a life of watching daytime TV and climaxing ina miserable, lonely and tragically early death in a bedsit somewhere in east London. To my untrained eye of avoidance of this pitiful fate in straightforward. The choices are many and varied:
1) Become a reality TV 'star' who, as the 14th minute of fame decides, "What I really want to do is act"
2) Become a professional footballer who, as his knees start to give decides "What I really want to do is act"
3) Become a stand-up comedian who, as his act starts to go stale decides "What I really want to do is act"
4) Become a topless model who, as the threep'ees start to descend decides "What I really want to do is act"
5) Become a pixillated cartoon of yourself.
6) Whore yourself by going to every advert casting for some crap product you would never use for ethical reasons.
7) Get a proper job.
Until recently I was scratching a living as an actor (last year I was in EastEnders, really I was. I played a mate of Alfie's who dresses up as a policeman to arrest Alfie's mam - it was hilarious!) and I'm still on nodding terms with many professional thespians. Most of them are highly talented and eminently castable. Their common problem seems to be the lack of opportunity to biuld a career. This usually leads to a rapid descent into the black world of bitterness and depression, followed by alcohol or drug dependency and a life of watching daytime TV and climaxing ina miserable, lonely and tragically early death in a bedsit somewhere in east London. To my untrained eye of avoidance of this pitiful fate in straightforward. The choices are many and varied:
1) Become a reality TV 'star' who, as the 14th minute of fame decides, "What I really want to do is act"
2) Become a professional footballer who, as his knees start to give decides "What I really want to do is act"
3) Become a stand-up comedian who, as his act starts to go stale decides "What I really want to do is act"
4) Become a topless model who, as the threep'ees start to descend decides "What I really want to do is act"
5) Become a pixillated cartoon of yourself.
6) Whore yourself by going to every advert casting for some crap product you would never use for ethical reasons.
7) Get a proper job.
posted by Mr McGuinness at 9:36 pm
15 Comments:
My godmother is a thesp -She was even in Bodger and Badger. Yes, thats how famous she is.
She seems to know a lot of people who are terribly famous but has never really reached the great heights herself. It's lucky her mother left her a fortune and that her husband does the crosswords for the papers. Stomp!-the movie was never going to be a success,was it?
I was in my 5th grade production of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I tried out for Charlie and Veruca Salt but got assigned the part of "Oompah LOompah #4."
Funny how all the brown people got assigned the parts of "Oompah Loompah." HMMMMMMMMMM.
From what I see on telly the trick is to be not very good. Thousands of not very good actors get parts all the time.
Keep your chin down.
I act the maggot pretty much consistently. This is an Irish phenomenon, but I'm confident it could work for you too.
Ethics? You cannot afford ethics until you reach Brad Pitt/Gwyneth Palthrow level - then you can ethic away all you like!
I was a contestant on the cult childrens show "Nightmare". Remember it? The one where some kid in a helmet is guided around an imaginary maze by his three mates... no? I was the kid in the helmet.
We got the lowest score ever recorded. Such shame. I fell out of love with showbiz after that.
Shebah, I don't know how to break this to you, but Brad'n'Gwynnie split up some time ago...
Spinsterella, I don't know how to break this to you, but you have completely misunderstood my comment, it could have been Tom Hanks/Tom Cruise - a level of fame, equally well known folk, not a particular pairing. Clear enough now, I hope! Gawd, its like having to explain a joke
Whut?
:D
Bodger and Badger - never have mashed potatoes been so exciting.
I have a friend who's an actor at Central - he knows he's on a highway to nowhere. The previous tennant of my old house in York was none other than Tom, the star of the "horn" pot noodle advert. There is always prostitution, but might I suggest perseverance. You never know - if Joseph Fiennes can become an actor, anything is possible.
IS THAT IT????
You jacked it in? Got a life? Boo hoo.
I can't contemplate blogging while the world cup's on. It's not a matter of life or death it's far more important than that etc etc
the fuck have you gone???
Get off your fat hard shelled arse and do some posting you lax prick. I'd a friend in primary school who was an actor in Fair City (the Irish Eastenders). Oh how we slagged him.
Anyway, I'm watching the world cup too but it doesn't interfere with my posting schedule. Lazy cunt.
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